A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
