he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
