I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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