he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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