Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Are we still banned from the library?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
