I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
