but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What a dumb baby whore.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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