hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
