is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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