So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
