I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
