im about as happy as oj after his trial
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
