Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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