he thought i was a dude.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
