This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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