dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
