Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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