She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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