just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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