And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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