u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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