the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
