you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
