this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
