Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she was so not down for the gang bang
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did I show you my penis last night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
