I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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