So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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