Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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