how can u be prego again
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
