If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
