If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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