We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
