I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
