I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
