I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
