therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize