So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
