you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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