help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dick very happy bro
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
