I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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