He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
