At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
