I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
