Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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