FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
