her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
