He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
