How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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