i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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