its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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