He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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